but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize