On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
