My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
