So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
