In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
