Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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