We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
