I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
