THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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