No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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