So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize