she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
