Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
