Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
