bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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