Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
