Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
