Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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