I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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