Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
There are leaves in my underwear?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
