not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
