im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
