Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
