she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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