Non-Jews are for practice
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
