he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
