I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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