I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
