Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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