I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
