god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
