i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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