We won't sleep together?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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