I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
