I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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