i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
