How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize