i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize