I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
