why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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