Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
