Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
