I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I love you.
Bad choice
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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