You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
