Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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