Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's blow job season.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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