3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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