I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
