I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
