I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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