I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
