It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
