I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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