no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
