i wish peter jackson would direct porn
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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