but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
