he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
