they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
